my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
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Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
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I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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