Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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