i think my mom watched the whole time
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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