I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
