I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
