So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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