David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
