im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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