he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
