I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize