I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
