sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.