I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.