She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
