Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
it was like his penis was on wheels.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
