I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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