Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
