He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
