I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Randomize
