If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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