all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
