first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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