god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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