Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize