If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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