i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Randomize
