S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Drake has all the answers
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize