A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
