So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
