If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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