I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
