Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize