I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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