We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize