Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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