Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize