Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
