I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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