Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
