You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize