apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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