one might say we're banned from that church
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
