like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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