WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
