My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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