I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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