After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
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even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
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There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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