So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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