thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
