If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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