kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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