I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
