C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
