Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I did not marry a roomba.
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