I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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