Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize
