Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
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My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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