I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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