we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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