the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
