420 ftw
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
