i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
